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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27384064">Everybody knows that it's now or never</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/smol_birb_boy/pseuds/smol_birb_boy'>smol_birb_boy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Everybody knows the good guys lost [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(kinda. smp live specifficly doesn't have respawns), Angst, Betrayal, Friends to Enemies, Friendship, Gen, Minor Character Death, No bete we die like Tubbo during the festival, No respawns, Platonic Relationships, Schlatt is just Like That, Sky Gods - Freeform, Villain Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Villain Wilbur Soot, both of them are vibin tho</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 00:14:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,746</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27384064</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/smol_birb_boy/pseuds/smol_birb_boy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“To hell with scamming this fucking city!” Schlatt laughs. “We could scam the gods themselves!”</p><p>Wilbur’s eyes widen. That’s insane, he wants to say. But that’s the whole point, isn’t it?</p><p>“Well, we would need to be a bit sturdier for that.” He says.</p><p>Schlatt starts flipping through the book with more interest. “Can this thing make us immortal?”</p><p>Wilbur frowns. “No. You’d have to be a god to be immortal.”</p><p>or</p><p>Two teens almost get away with becoming gods.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jschlatt &amp; Wilbur Soot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Everybody knows the good guys lost [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1975060</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>85</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Everybody knows that it's me or you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Ah. My weird AU for Wilbur's and Schlatt's past. Lovely. (Also I have only watched like 2 videos of SMP Live and it shows.)</p><p>Work title and Chapter titles from 'Everybody Knows' by Leonard Cohen</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first thing that Wilbur notices about Schlatt is his grin. It’s wide and dangerous and confident and Wilbur can’t help but listen when this self-proclaimed businessman demands he do business with him.</p><p>Said business ends with Wilbur scammed out of all his money and on the run from the authorities and Wilbur should be mad, he really should, but it’s the most fun he’s had for a while and well, he’s young, he’s stupid, so who can blame him when he decides that he and this Schlatt fellow are going to be great friends.</p><p>Crime had always been fun <strike>(and necessary)</strike>, but this? This was exhilarating. This was freedom.</p><p>And Wilbur loved freedom.</p><p>So, it was natural that he loved this city he had found himself in too. Live - they called it. It was a fitting name, really. The whole city was alive, breathing and pulsing with crime and fragile order.</p><p>What other cities could have possibly given its start to Jschlatt and Wilbur Soot?</p><p>In what other cities would a sixteen-year-old teen find himself holding a sword with shaking hands as he’s paid to kill an innocent boy.</p><p>So, not for the first time, Wilbur finds himself on Schlatt’s doorstep.</p><p>“Wilbur.” The businessman <strike>(he was a boy, he was a boy just like Wilbur)</strike> grins and leans on his doorframe.</p><p>“Jschlatt.” Wilbur nods in greeting.</p><p>Then he hesitates and says. “I need your help.”</p><p>“With what?”</p><p>Jschlatt ends up throwing Wilbur under the bus and declaring himself both a witness, a judge, and the prosecution for Wilbur on the charges of attempted murder. The whole court-case ends up being a sham, so no one can actually charge Wilbur with anything.</p><p>The boy remained alive. Schlatt was a terrible shot after all. Or maybe he’s just very smart and had planned this from the moment Wilbur had come to him, reeking of desperation. It was hard to tell when it came to Schlatt.</p><p>Nevertheless, the boys had become friends, partners in crime, the dynamic duo.</p><p>The city had been filled with other amazing people and friends, naturally. Carson, for example. Wilbur remembered him fondly.</p><p>But they were all still mostly dumb teens, so when Wilbur had found an old tome with a spell to summon a demon, someone, of course, decided to host a party and end it with the whole teen population of Live screaming the spell on top of their lungs while being completely drunk.</p><p>Unfortunately for the teens, no demons were summoned that day.</p><p>Unfortunately for the sane and responsible population of Live (which was very small), even the absence of a demon didn’t clean up the mess the party-goers had made.</p><p>Wilbur was very disappointed by the lack of demons.</p><p>“They’re just not real, lover boy.” Schlatt had laughed.</p><p>Wilbur glared. “They are. This book is just fucking broken.”</p><p>Schlatt rolled his eyes. “Sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”</p><p>Wilbur had seethed and thrown the book in the trash. It doesn’t work anyway.</p><p>But Wilbur was curious. Wilbur was curious and determined and most of all petty. So not even a week later the book had found itself back into the boy’s arms, where it was read and studied, and sometimes thrown against walls in frustration.</p><p>Most everyone who came over now did so with the specific goal of making fun of him. They did it so much, in fact, that Wilbur’s house was now full of wooden carvings of dicks with a wizard hat on top since no one in this fucking city was original.</p><p>Schlatt was no exception. “So. Like my housewarming gift?”</p><p>Wilbur looked at the dick he was handed, which was no different from the other wizard dicks save from the fact that it looked worse.</p><p>“Very funny.” Wilbur threw the dick with the rest of them.</p><p>Schlatt only laughed, because of course he did. “So, hot-stuff, what have you been up to?”</p><p>“Oh, fuck you,” Wilbur grumbled. “I’m so close to understanding this book!”</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>“I am.”</p><p>“No, I believe you. I do.” Schlatt grinned and pointed at the open page of the tome which held the spell to summon living things from non-organic material. “That pee-dog spell thing is definitely very real.”</p><p>Wilbur glared at the page. The living beings it summoned just had to be all yellow, didn’t they? And the sketch of a yellow dog did not help the book's image at all.</p><p>“I can summon that pee-dog thing right now.” Wilbur proclaimed.</p><p>Schlatt frowned and his expression just screamed ‘really?’.</p><p>“Well, I haven’t tried it yet,” Wilbur hesitated but after seeing Schlatt’s triumphant expression he grabbed the book and started looking around for the spell’s ingredients. “But I can do it.”</p><p>He threw a bag of sand in Schlatt’s hands. “Hold this.”</p><p>Schlatt glared at Wilbur but still held the bag.</p><p>After about twenty minutes of prep work, Wilbur had drawn up a makeshift magic circle and set up the mood for spell casting. He then instructed his friend to pour all the sand into the middle of the circle.</p><p>“What now?” Schlatt asked, still amused by the whole situation.</p><p>“Now be quiet.” Wilbur hissed.</p><p>Then he started chanting. At first, nothing happened but each word Wilbur said became harder and harder to utter. His mouth just didn’t want to cooperate and after a while, his body had become heavy too. It was harder to breathe and hear and see, but Wilbur kept going because he had to.</p><p>The circle glowed and the pile of sand started moving, morphing into something more solid.</p><p>And then just like that the light went out and Wilbur could breathe again.</p><p>“What the fuck?” Schlatt yelled and scrambled backward.</p><p>“It worked.” Wilbur laughed. “It worked! Magic is fucking real!”</p><p>“What the fuck is that?” Schlatt continued yelling and pointed at the puppy that had appeared in the middle of their makeshift circle.</p><p>“It’s the fucking pee-dog!” Wilbur cheered. “Schlatt, we did it!”</p><p>The pee-dog waged its little tail and then sauntered up to Schlatt, who in turn then screamed in terror. “Get this thing away from me!”</p><p>“Schlatt! We fucking did it!” Wilbur jumped up from the floor a feral glint in his eyes. “Schlatt do you know what this means?”</p><p>Schlatt, who had successfully halted the pee-dog’s advancement with a broom, glared at Wilbur and snapped. “What?”</p><p>“Magic is real and we have a book of spells! We’re fucking wizards! We can – we can sell stuff and then just teleport it back to us! People lose stuff all the time! No one will notice. Or! Or! Even better! We steel stuff by teleporting it!”</p><p>Schlatt blinks once, then twice and then his face breaks out into a grin and a certain glint enters his eyes, one which informs Wilbur that it’s about to be very fun.</p><p>“Your thinking too small, my friend!” He says and then stands up to grab the tome from Wilbur’s hands.</p><p>“To hell with scamming this fucking city!” Schlatt laughs. “We could scam the gods themselves!”</p><p>Wilbur’s eyes widen. That’s insane, he wants to say. But that’s the whole point, isn’t it?</p><p>“Well, we would need to be a bit sturdier for that.” He says.</p><p>Schlatt starts flipping through the book with more interest. “Can this thing make us immortal?”</p><p>Wilbur frowns. “No. You’d have to be a god to be immortal.”</p><p>“Wilbur,” Schlatt says and places a hand on his shoulder. “Then let’s become fucking gods.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry for all the grammar mistakes I surely missed. English isn't my first language. But this AU has been living in my head rent-free for a while now.<br/>Also, this will never be brought up so I just wanted to clear up that magic in this world is considered anything magical that isn't a feature of Minecraft. Which is why Ender dragons and Enchanting tables are considered normal things.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. And everybody knows that you live forever</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW /blood, death, and referring to a person as 'it'</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As it turns out, becoming gods wasn’t actually that easy.</p><p>In hindsight, that should have been obvious, but Wilbur had been pouring over the old tome and a few other books Schlatt and Connor had generously provided him <strike>(‘scamming old people is actually pretty easy!’ Schatt told him one day)</strike> for over two months now and he was getting desperate.</p><p>“This is bullshit,” Wilbur grumbled one night, clutching an old book by its covers with both hands and shaking it.</p><p>“It’s all bullshit.”</p><p>Wilbur glared at Schlatt, who had the gall to flash a charming smile. “You know this would go a lot faster if you actually helped.”</p><p>“I got you those books.”</p><p>Wilbur scoffed, looked down on his notes, and the book in his hands, and then threw them all in the Pile. He then buried his face in his arms while Schlatt patted his back in a barely comforting matter.</p><p>Then, finally, after four and a half months of working Wilbur finally made a breakthrough.</p><p>Gods, as far as he understood, were beings of pure magic and nature. Their very existence was linked to this world. They were one with every tree, every animal every blade of grass that had ever and would ever exist.</p><p>So, hypothetically, all one would need to become a god, would be to link themselves with this world and power themselves with a fuck ton of magical energy. And since the magical currents that flowed through this world were intrinsically linked to the core of this world, both these tasks could be accomplished with one simple act of absorbing magic.</p><p>
  <strike>(Wilbur hadn’t yet figured out how he would accomplish this, but it couldn’t be that hard. Hopefully.)</strike>
</p><p>He shared this with Schlatt out of nothing more than a need for companionship and politeness.</p><p>So, it’s safe to say that Wilbur was quite surprised when after two minutes of silence <strike>(which really should have told him something was wrong)</strike> Schlatt frowned and said. “You tryin’ to kill us, sweetheart?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Well,” Schlatt picked of a page of Wilbur’s research. “Shooting us with this much magic would fry us like barbequed chicken.”</p><p>Wilbur grabbed the page out of Schlatt’s hands and re-read it again. His shoulders slumped.</p><p>“Fuck.”</p><p>-</p><p>“Okay. Get this. We make anti-magic clothes.”</p><p>Schlatt fiddled with a Schlattcoin, not even bothering to look at Wilbur. “Then what’s the point of blasting us with magic at all?”</p><p>Wilbur sighed and shifted from where he was lying on his bed. “We drink a shit ton of fire resistance potions?”</p><p>“I’m pretty sure that that would also kill us.” Schlatt shrugged and tossed the Schlattcoin in the air.</p><p>“We…” Wilbur frowned and gazed at the Schlattcoin. “Conduct the magic through the Schlattcoin?”</p><p>Schlatt laughed. “Well, now you’re just being silly.”</p><p>Wilbur buried his face into a pillow and screamed.</p><p>-</p><p>Schlatt came to him one day with a feral grin on his face.</p><p>“Wilbur.” He greeted as he pushed past Wilbur into Wilbur’s little designated magic-room.</p><p>Wilbur furrowed his eyebrows in confusion but still responded, “Jshlatt.”</p><p>“Wilbur,” Schlatt repeated as he spun around to look Wilbur in his eyes. “What if becoming a god wasn’t the only way to become immortal?”</p><p>Wilbur sighed. And here he hoped Schlatt had actually come up with something cool or at least possible. “Well, Schlatt, that would fix all our problems, but I’m pretty sure I literary told you that that’s impossible.”</p><p>Schlatt’s grin didn’t falter. “Yes, yes. I remember. Immortal equals god according to that old ass book or whatever.”</p><p>“Immortal equals god in any book.” Wilbur hissed and went back to studying the old texts he had left on his table when Schlatt had barged in. He had really hoped Schatt had come to be useful or at least entertaining.</p><p>“But all those books are about this world, aren’t they?”</p><p>Wilbur froze. “What?”</p><p>That’s when Wilbur actually realized what state Schlatt was in.</p><p>Wilbur didn’t think he had ever seen Schlatt this excited and disheveled in his life. His suit jacket wasn’t buttoned and his hair was messy. It looked like Schlatt had run a marathon. But the thing that really sold the new look were his eyes. Wild and red, they almost shined in glee.</p><p>And only after taking all that in, did Wilbur come to the conclusion that Schlatt was serious.</p><p>-</p><p>“You know Antvemon, right?” Schlatt said as he dragged Wilbur along with him into the forest.</p><p>“We spoke to him last week.” Wilbur deadpanned.</p><p>“Ah, right.” Schlatt laughed. “Well, I kinda got into a scuffle with him yesterday.”</p><p>Wilbur frowned. “Again?”</p><p>“He likes Stal, Wilbur! The man’s insane!” Schlatt exclaimed. “But that’s not the point. The point is, I got acquainted with one of his friends.”</p><p>Schlatt looked at Wilbur expectantly and smiled, while Wilbur squirmed uncomfortably, not sure what Schlatt was leading up to.</p><p>That’s when both of them walked into a clearing where a man with red-rimmed glasses was waiting for them.</p><p>Schlatt grinned. “Wilbur, meet Captain Sparklez.”</p><p>The man laughed. “Howdy. Most people just call me Sparklez.”</p><p>“Wilbur Soot.” Wilbur extended his hand in greeting which Sparklez happily shook. “Nice to meet you.”</p><p>“So,” Sparklez hummed and his stance turned serious. “Why is it that you boys are interested in other worlds?”</p><p>Schlatt gave Wilbur a thumbs up.</p><p>-</p><p>It turns out that Sparklez had actually been to another world before. This really shouldn’t have been a surprise as the man, like many other inhabitants of Live, was a seasoned adventurer.</p><p>“It was a land of gods,” Sparklez told them.</p><p>“So, everyone was a god?” Schlatt questioned.</p><p>“Oh no,” Sparklez laughed and then beckoned them to follow him. “The gods were just always there. They chose their champions and fought with each other all the time.”</p><p>Sparklez sighed. “I kind of miss it in a weird way.”</p><p>He led them to his home and continued telling them of the world he had accidentally found himself in when he was younger, of his accomplishments and challenges, of his goddess who he regretted leaving the most.</p><p>“But this world was my home and the world of Mianite could no longer support outsiders living in it, so, I had to leave.”</p><p>That night Wilbur learned of a desolate world in which you couldn’t die.</p><p>
  <strike>(“Yeah,” Sparklez had rubbed the back of his neck. “Dying was kinda weird.”)</strike>
</p><p>That night Wilbur devised a plan.</p><p>-</p><p>A year after the two teens had decided to achieve god-hood, the two of them stood in the middle of Wilbur’s magic-room, which was now empty save for all the runes that lined the walls and extended out into the city and created a barrier for magic and a few lava cauldrons.</p><p>The runes were for containing the magic current. It could potentially magically supercharge the city, but that was a risk they were willing to take.</p><p>
  <strike>(If the space would be too small they would die if it was too big it simply wouldn’t work.)</strike>
</p><p>In the middle of the room laid a Dragon Egg, which Schlatt had gotten together with Antvenom.</p><p>
  <strike>(Schlatt had looked so proud when he had presented it to Wilbur.)</strike>
</p><p>The Egg, which was one of a kind, was both a perfect conductor for magic and a great anchor for connecting to other worlds.</p><p>Sparklez had helped them set up a connection with Mianite after they gave him a half-true story about what they were doing and if it weren’t for him, Wilbur felt like this would have taken at least another three years.</p><p>
  <strike>(“No one needs to know about this.” Schlatt had told him way back when they had just started.)</strike>
</p><p>“It’s so hot in here,” Wilbur grumbled and glared at the lava the two of them had scammed someone to put into cauldrons.</p><p>“I know.” Schlatt grinned and stared at Wilbur.</p><p>Wilbur snorted but still glarred at him, Schlatt was annoying after all and Wilbur was determined to let him know that, even if the comic relief was appreciated. <strike>(Not that Schlatt needed to know that.)</strike></p><p>“Well,” Wilbur grinned. “Let’s get started.”</p><p>The first thing Wilbur did was connect their essence to Mianite, essentially turning them temporarily immortal. (At least until the universe realized they weren’t actually inside Mianite right now.)</p><p>Wilbur hissed in pain as his soul tethered to a faraway world. He heard Schlatt curse beside him.</p><p>Then, he and Schlatt started chanting a spell they had been creating this entire year.</p><p>The magic swirled in the air and the Dragon Egg soaked it up like a sponge, glowing and pulsing as it struggled to hold onto the now overflowing magic. Wilbur saw Schlatt’s suit singe and hoped with all his might that it wouldn’t turn into an open flame.</p><p>Wilbur dug his nails into his palms as magic started flowing through his veins entering into every pore of his body. His lungs were full of electrified magic and he was very glad Schlatt had realized this would happen beforehand.</p><p>Then he felt his mind go numb at the magic that suddenly flashed through it and he screamed.</p><p>His whole body disconnected from his soul and Wilbur went quiet, for he no longer had the ability to scream.</p><p>His world was black and cold and if he was still able to feel Wilbur was sure he would have been scared.</p><p>Then, suddenly, he was thrust back into his corporeal body and everything was a bit too bright and loud.</p><p>
  <strike>(It was still so cold.)</strike>
</p><p>His best friend was screaming and all Wilbur wanted was for him to shut up,<em> shut up, shut up. How dare he be this loud. Why.</em></p><p>Then he opened his eyes and finally saw the state Schlatt was in.</p><p>“Schlatt?” Wilbur whispered and felt himself step back from his friend.</p><p>“Fuck.” Schlatt wheezed, blood dripping down his hair and face. “Fuck, Wilbur, it fucking hurts.”</p><p>Wilbur felt numb as his friend writhed in agony in front of him. Blood poured and poured but all Wilbur could stare at were the two horns that had grown out of Schlatt’s head.</p><p>The horns extended a bit longer and Schlatt screamed.</p><p>The blood splattered on Schlatt’s suit and Wilbur frowned. Schlatt loved that suit. This was bad.</p><p>
  <strike>(Wilbur had always been a little queasy at the sight of blood. This should have been a bigger deal, shouldn’t it?)</strike>
</p><p>“Wilbur!” Schlatt yelled, demanding something, anything to stop the pain. Wilbur didn’t know what to do.</p><p>Hot stuff stopped wounds from bleeding, right? But would that help if the horns grew even larger? They would make an even bigger hole in his friend’s head.</p><p>Besides, the room was warm at most. The spell must have consumed the heat of the room or something. Wilbur didn’t know. Fuck, he had no idea where they had gone wrong with this. It should have worked. It should have fucking worked.</p><p>“Goddammit, Wilbur!”</p><p>Right. Schlatt first. His numerous mistakes later.</p><p>Didn’t he have healing potions somewhere around here? He must have.</p><p>It took about a minute for him to find them, but soon enough he returned to his friends’ side with a few health and regeneration potions in his hands. Schlatt immediately tore them out of his hands and chugged.</p><p>“Fuck.” Schlatt coughed.</p><p>“You okay?” Wilbur asked.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>Wilbur sighed. They had really fucked this up, hadn’t they?</p><p>
  <strike>(The revelation didn’t bother him as much as it should have.)</strike>
</p><p>“Why the fuck did nothing happen to you?” Schlatt frowned as Wilbur helped him stand up.</p><p>“Guess I was just lucky.” Wilbur shrugged.</p><p>
  <strike>(He felt different.)</strike>
</p><p>“Well, that’s just –“Schlatt paused.</p><p>“What?” Wilbur asked, a bit worried about Schlatt’s silence. “Schlatt?”</p><p>Schlatt extended one of his hands and then, after a tense moment of silence, a golden apple dropped down in his palm.</p><p>Schlatt laughed and Wilbur froze.</p><p>“Holy shit, I think we did it, lover-boy,” Schlatt announced and bit into the apple.</p><p>They did it?</p><p>“Holy shit,” Wilbur whispered.</p><p>“Try it, try it!” Schlatt laughed and took a step back.</p><p>Wilbur hesitated. He had no idea how Schlatt had done that. Maybe only Schlatt had become a god <strike>(And fuck wasn’t that a bizarre thought? Schlatt – a god. The world would never survive this.)</strike>. Nothing had really happened to Wilbur after all, no horns, no wings, no nothing.</p><p>Wilbur extended his hand. Nothing happened. He furrowed his eyebrows. This wasn’t working.</p><p>Then he shut his eyes and <em>demanded </em>an apple.</p><p>The world seemed to shift around him as it hurried to obey.</p><p>When he opened his eyes he was greeted with the sight of an apple.</p><p>“Huh.” Schlatt hummed from where he was eating his golden apple. “Looks like we fucking did it.”</p><p>Wilbur grinned, wild and free. The knowledge that they succeeded was euphoric.</p><p>This called for some experimentation.</p><p>Wilbur reached out, only this time he did it with all the force he could muster and grabbed whatever laid on the other side. He frowned when he realized that it felt like strings. He pulled at them, looking to find out what they were.</p><p>“Uh, Wilbur,” Schlatt called.</p><p>When Wilbur looked up from the string what he saw could only be described as chaos. The world was bleeding around them and the wards they had placed around the city glowed.</p><p>“What the fuck.” Wilbur blinked.</p><p>When Schlatt asked what he was doing he showed him the strings, and the two of them began to fiddle with them, trying to find out what Wilbur had done.</p><p>“What if we just –” Wilbur murmured and grabbed a handful of strings.</p><p>“Wilbur, wait –” Schlatt called, but it was too late.</p><p>Wilbur forcefully pulled on the strings and everything went white.</p><p>-</p><p>When Wilbur woke up he found himself lying on a meadow Schlatt nowhere to be found.</p><p>It took him a day to realize he was in another world.</p><p>It took him a week to find other people.</p><p>It took him a month to come to terms with the fact that no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t tell which string was home and which string Schlatt had been holding onto when he pulled the strings and fucked them both.</p><p>
  <strike>(It took him much longer to forgive himself.)</strike>
</p><p>It took him two months to finally show himself to the people inhabiting this world.</p><p>They called him their god and Wilbur was about to protest before he realized that, yeah, he kinda was.</p><p>He flew over them <strike>(He could fly now! Wasn’t that neat?)</strike> and they cheered.</p><p>He flew down and they bowed.</p><p>Wilbur laughed. He was a god,<em> their</em> god.</p><p>“Rise.” He said and everyone clambered up to obey.</p><p>Ah, this was going to be fun.</p><p>
  <strike>(Schlatt would find him. He always did.)</strike>
</p><p>-</p><p>His people almost starved in the first week.</p><p>“What do you mean you need more food? I gave food to Lukito yesterday!” Wilbur yelled.</p><p>The group of people below him exchanged glances and then one of them stepped in front and started writing on a sign.</p><p>Wilbur sighed. It was just his luck that in this world he had found no one could utter a word. “Just, can’t you farm more food or something?”</p><p>The people didn’t like that. They may have not been able to speak, but at this moment Wilbur felt like he understood their very soul.</p><p>He also felt like that if they could speak, they would be screaming profanities right now. <strike>(How dare they complain? He was their god.)</strike></p><p>“Okay. Okay. Jeez.” Wilbur placated the mob. “Here, have some fish.”</p><p>The leader of the mob gave him a thumbs up and soon enough everyone went back to whatever they were doing.</p><p>No one had told Wilbur being a god would be this much work.</p><p>-</p><p>Okay. Well. That hadn’t really gone well.</p><p>Wilbur fiddled with the sleeves of his sweater as he looked over the giant hole in the ground that was filled with rubble and mangled bodies.</p><p>So maybe spawning a giant block of dynamite wasn’t one of his best ideas, but he wasn’t the one who detonated it, so really the blame for this destruction in no way laid with him.</p><p>He had just wanted to spice things up. He had always been a Dirty Crime Boy!</p><p>The people were too demanding anyways.</p><p>Ash fell from the sky and Wilbur shivered. Why was it always so cold?</p><p>Someone below him screamed and huh, look at that, someone had survived.</p><p>Wilbur closed his eyes and reached out to strum the strings of the universe yet again. He felt around for an unclaimed world as his fingers danced across multiple strings almost creating some semblance of a melody.</p><p>Wilbur paused.</p><p>Then he let his fingers dance across the same strings, this time deliberately and with rhythm. He then played a song only he could hear using the universe as his instrument.</p><p>Wilbur had never felt more like a god.</p><p>No offering, no amount of bowing could compare to this. No item he could will into existence, no life he could sniff out with a thought was as godly as this.</p><p>The symphony finished and Wilbur smiled. The next world would be better, he was sure of that.</p><p>
  <strike>(Schlatt could be there.)</strike>
</p><p>Then once Wilbur had found a sturdy string with no ruler he grabbed onto it while his other hand grabbed the string of the world he was standing in and pulled, tearing it out of the great fabric of the universe and leaving his remaining people to decay, while he anchored himself to another world.</p><p>-</p><p>The next world had not been better.</p><p>The people, yet again, seemed to easily forget that he was a fucking god. It was infuriating.</p><p>So, Wilbur jumped to the next world and then the next, and next until he found himself lazily lying on a cloud and giving every inhabitant of this world wings.</p><p>That would spice things up a bit.</p><p>Wilbur liked being a bird owner. His birds liked flying too, so it all worked out. He felt himself smiling as he looked over his pets from above.</p><p>He still destroyed the world when he was done with it.</p><p>-</p><p>All his next worlds were filled with ants and other lowly creatures. Even that got tiring after a while.</p><p>Being a pet owner was more hassle than it was worth and Wilbur was so tired.</p><p>
  <strike>(It was so very cold. He had stopped thinking about Schlatt and his old life a long time ago. He was a god now, after all.)</strike>
</p><p>So, as he looked upon a desolate world of dirt and the moles that resided in it he grinned.</p><p>He had tried being nice, but he was a god now and moles were vermin after all.</p><p>Being pest control was bound to be more fun.</p><p>-</p><p>One of the moles challenged him to duel. He was amused, really, but he had other moles to catch, houses to destroy.</p><p>He was a very busy man. Not that it would understand that.</p><p>Now that he thought about it hadn’t he trapped one of the moles in bedrock? He really should go and check how it was doing.</p><p>The mole stepped in front of him when he tried to leave a glare on its face as it pointed at the sentence it had carved into the wall.</p><p>Wilbur sighed theatrically. “Well, fine.”</p><p>He took the mole to the surface, where it immediately fell down and struggled to stand straight.</p><p>He gave it a bow and an arrow, wishing it good luck with a smirk.</p><p>It would need it, going against a god and all.</p><p>“This will be a bow duel.” He announced. “You do know how to shoot a bow, right?”</p><p>The mole glared and Wilbur laughed.</p><p>Then the duel began and Wilbur realized that being a god hadn’t really improved his skills with a bow.</p><p>
  <em>Fuck.</em>
</p><p>It didn’t take long for Wilbur to get shot.</p><p>The arrow embedded itself into his stomach and Wilbur was so shocked and confused he forgot to scream.</p><p>Wilbur stared at his wound, dumbfounded. He lost. He had lost to a fucking mole. He – He can’t lose. He was a god now. Gods don’t lose.</p><p>His new godhood did not stop him from bleeding. Crimson spilled from him, a red waterfall of failure and pain. And, huh, he hadn’t felt pain in a while. Was it always this uncomfortable, this distracting?</p><p>He had left pain behind when he left behind everything else, but the red didn’t stop and it ate and ate Wilbur’s mind until it was hard to even think.</p><p>The mole in front of him stilled, and through the haze of death, Wilbur realized that it was smiling.</p><p>
  <em>How dare it? He was their god – He –</em>
</p><p>And with that last thought, Wilbur died.</p><p>Then he opened his eyes and he was alive.</p><p>Wilbur blinked. Then rubbed his hands against his eyes. Then felt around for his wound.</p><p>It was gone.</p><p>The wound and the red and the pain were gone.</p><p>The mole took a step back and Wilbur laughed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>God Wilbur what will he do.</p><p>Also, I know I kinda skipped over a lot of lore, so hope the story is still understandable.</p><p>(Also I am sure there are many typos. I apologize in advance.)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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